Oh my-lanta! SQUEEE!!!! Rose squee!!! Shipper squee!!! Arcing plot squee!!! TARDIS team squee!! Now, I shall give a point by point explanation to the utter awesomeness of this episode. That is… if I can catch my breath. *grin*

So, I’ve been waiting for this episode since the series began. And it did not disappoint. I was completely spoiled… which only heightened my anxiousness to see it. I apologizing now for the amount of times ‘squee’ may appear in the following review. *hehe*

Opening: Time for a pit stop. Boy, Doctor, like Martha has any idea what you are talking about. *hehe* And you see Jack and run away!?!? That’s rather rude. Then again, you left him on the Gamestation, so, why should you change now? Guess it’s all up to you, Jack. RUN!

Traveling Through the Vortex: I’m sorry, but I started laughing as Jack starts screaming for the Doctor as he holds on the TARDIS. After the big leap towards it… it’s a bit cheesy. Okay, more than a bit. Though, I’m not complaining. Captain Jack = Talk About Rose. So, I’m very excited. *grin*

Subplot: This week’s subplot is called The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells. It’s completely non-important ‘cause there are much, much, MUCH bigger things to squee over. *hehe*

Credits: SQUEE! John Barrowman’s name appears in the credits! Yea!!

Professor Yana: It’s Derek Jacobi! Hasn’t he been part of Doctor Who history before? The voice of the Master, maybe? *grin* I wonder if that possibly means anything. Now, we’ll just ponder that until we get off the subplot and back to the good stuff… the Doctor and Jack.

Not a Standard Reading: *hehe* I love how it looks like a perfect little square of a TARDIS bleeping on the screen. I don’t care if it was on purpose or not, I think it’s adorable.

End of the Universe: We should leave, we should go, we should really really… go. And then he gets his cheeky maniac grin. Oh, happy!Doctor, it’s been a long time since I saw you. I don’t think this will last long. But, nice to see that smile.

Jack is Dead… Hello again. Oh, I’m sorry. The sorry’s seems to be back, eh? But he doesn’t look too hearts broken… I think he came with us. Must have been clinging to the outside of the TARDIS. All the way through the Vortex. Well, that’s very him. *hehe* Indeed. Very Jack. Glad to see you back!! Friend of mine. Used to travel with me. Back in the old days. A whole life time ago, guess that is the old days, eh?

Always Flirting: SQUEE!! Jack’s back!! And in quite his normal form. After you die, come back flirting. *grin* Martha seemed to enjoy it.

Jack: Nice to meet you, Martha Jones
Doctor: Oh, don’t start!
Jack: I was only saying ‘hello’!
Martha: I don’t mind.

No one every does, Martha. No one ever does…

The First of the Conversations: to squee over…

Jack: Doctor.
Doctor: Captain.
Jack: Good to see you.
Doctor: And you. Same as ever. Although, have you had work done?
Jack: You can talk!

*laughs out loud* Um, Doctor… don’t you remember… take a second to think about it.

Doctor: Oh, yes, the face! Regeneration. How did you know it was me?

Yes, Martha, you will completely and utterly confused through this entire conversation as the Doctor only tells you about regeneration as it’s happening. Can you imagine what Martha would think of him if she knew what he looked like before?

Jack: The police box kinda gives it away. I’ve been following you for a long time. You abandoned me.
Doctor: Did I?

Doctor! Rude and not ginger!

Doctor: Busy life, moving on.
Jack: Just gotta ask. The Battle of Canary Wharf. I saw the list of the dead. It said Rose Tyler.
Doctor: Oh no, sorry! She’s alive!
Jack: You’re kidding!
Doctor: Parallel world. Safe and sound. And Mickey. And her mother.

Such faux excitement, makes me want to cry.

Jack: Yes!
Martha: *mutters* Good old Rose.

Happily bonding over Rose! SQUEE!! Martha is sooo not liking that. To live in the shadow of a ghost… one so beloved and in a parallel universe, even. One can’t compete with a ghost. A ghost has no flaws anymore. Only the memories of the happy times truly survive. And absence makes the heart(s) grow fonder.

Jack: So there I was, stranded in the year two hundred, one hundred, ankle deep in Dalek dust, and he goes off without me! But I had this! *points to a device on his wrist* I used to be a time agent. It’s called a vortex manipulator. He’s not the only one who can time travel.
Doctor: Oh, excuse me! THAT is not time travel. It’s like, I’ve got a sports car and you’ve got a space hopper.

Um, Doctor, need I remind you that you borrowed your ‘sports car’ after it was ready to be decommissioned as an out of date model? *hehe*

Martha: Oh-ho-ho! Boys and their toys!
Jack: Alright, so I bounced. I thought 21st century, the best place to find the Doctor, except that I got it a little wrong. Arrived in 1869. This thing burnt out, so it was useless.
Doctor: Told you.
Jack: I had to live through the entire 20th century waiting for a version of you that would coincide with me.
Martha: But that makes you more than a 100 years old.
Jack: And looking good. Don’t you think?

No argument with you there!

Jack: So, I went to the time rift, based myself there, ‘cause I knew you’d come back to refuel. Until finally, I got a signal on this *pointing to backpack* detecting you and here you are!
Martha: But the thing is, how come you left him behind, Doctor?
Doctor: I was busy.
Martha: Is that what happens, though? Seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?

Ah, the question every companion must ask once they run into past companions. Martha gets a much different answer then Rose did. Though, I laughed at Jack’s reasoning.

Jack: Not if you’re blonde.
Martha: Oh she was blonde, oh what a surprise!

Oh, that’s it! You’re talking about Rose now, and you know that topic is what drives our emo!Doctor to explode. Case in point…

Doctor: You two, we’re at the end of the universe! Hmm! Right at the edge of knowledge itself and you’re busy… blogging. Come on.

Um, Doctor, in your attempt to change the conversation about how you are horribly in love with Rose but have now lost her, you seemed to have forgotten what the definition of the word ‘blog’ means. The verb tense of the word requires writing something down. For instance, I am blogging this very minute. However, Jack and Martha’s conversation… far away from blogging. You, sir, in my most humble shipper opinion, are still pining... which is causing you to completely forget what you are talking about. Just collapse a couple of universes and get her back! Oh, and SQUEE!

Back to Subplot: Yeah, whatever. The ‘evolved’ types try to hunt the ‘humans’. You better go help them!! Oh, I miss this. And we missed you doing this too, Jack! It’s good to see you back! SQUEE! Now, go get yourselves caught! Oh look… they did.

Jack: Oh, don’t tell him to put his gun down.
Doctor: He’s not my responsibility.
Jack: And I am? Ha ha, that’s a change.

*hehe* *squee* Jack’s back as part of the team! See, everything is better now that the Doctor has an entourage!

Voice: Professor, we’ve got four new humans inside. One of them is calling himself a doctor.
Professor Yana: Of medicine?
Voice: He says of everything.

Again, hehe… he is brilliant. *grin* And this makes the professor very happy.

Blue Peter Kid: Ah, look at him. He did such a good job. Great little actor. *grin*

TARDIS: A blue box? big, tall, wooden, says police *hehe* Must be hundreds of those around, can you be more specific?

Love of Humans: He still loves his humans. Gotta love that the Doctor still is so thrilled that they’ve made it this far out. Indomitable!

And More Flirting: *starts giggling again*

Jack: Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?
Doctor: Stop it! ….

Jack: Gotcha
Doctor: Thanks.
Jack: How did you cope without me?

Well, for a while he had Rose… she held his hand. But then he lost her. And now you’ve come back and brought some of happy!Doctor. Yea!

Professor Thinks It’s Good:

Professor Yana: *points to Jack* The Doctor?
Doctor: That’s me.
Professor Yana: Good! Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good… Good.
Doctor: Good, apparently!

*giggles* I just love that.

Flirting Yet Again:

Jack: Captain Jack Harkness…
Doctor: Stop it!
Jack: Can’t I say hello to anyone?

Um… no. *hehe*

Chan Thor: Chan I do not protest Thor.

No one every does, Chan Thor, no one ever does. I think I may have said that before. *hehe*

The Hand: Well, of course Jack carries the hand around. *laugh*

Martha: Oh, my, God. You’ve got a hand. A hand in a jar. A hand. In jar. In your bag.
Doctor: B-b-b-but that’s my hand!
Jack: I said I had a Doctor detector.
Chan Thor: Chan is this a tradition amongst your people Thor?
Martha: Not on my street! What’s you mean that’s your hand? You’ve got both your hands, I can see them!

Oh, Martha… The Doctor… is… not… human. Which means… what you think is impossible? It’s not. Even what the Doctor thinks is impossible is not. It’s only impossible until it’s not impossible any longer.

Doctor: Long story. I lost my hand, Christmas day. In a sword fight.

*giggles* I know the story, but the way he puts that… it’s just so funny. Yep, lost the hand, now it’s sitting in a jar. Flashback to The Christmas Invasion! Just in case we didn’t know how he lost it… in the sword fight. That’s the scene that sold me on the new Doctor. He became my Doctor in that moment, in the Whovian sense of the word.

Martha: And what? You grew another hand?

No, Martha… he previously had three. Wait, I can’t patronize you for that… he might have. Could have had two heads, or no head at all, and don’t say that would be an improvement. *grin*

Doctor: Um, yeah. Yeah, I did, yeah. Hello. *waves new hand*

Time Lords in the End of the Universe: Never heard of ya! Blimey, end of the universe is a bit humbling. Quite the singular experience for you, eh, Doctor?

Back to the Hand:

Martha: You grew another hand.

Oh, Martha, we’ve already covered this! If you’re this surprised at the hand thing, what is going to happen if you are around when he regenerates?

Doctor: Hello again. *waves fingers* It’s fine. Look. Really, it’s me.

Oh, flashbacks to the CiN special. And that makes me miss Rose.

Martha: All this time, and you’re still full of surprises.
Doctor: *shakes hand and winks*
Chan Thor: Chan you are most unusual Thor.
Doctor: Well…

*hehe* He certainly is!

Every Human Knows of Utopia: But, he isn’t human. He’s just told you that. He grew a hand back even! Where have you been?

Doctor: Bit of a hermit.
Professor Yana: A hermit? With, uh, friends?
Doctor: Hermits United. We meet up every ten years. Swap stories about caves. It’s good fun. For a hermit. So, um, Utopia?

*giggles* Have I mentioned how much I adore the words that come out of his mouth?

Sound of the Drums: Boy, they are getting louder and louder in the professor’s head… what could that mean? *grin*

He’s Brilliant: *giggles* Oh, we’ve been chatting away, I forgot to tell you, I’m brilliant! Oh, can’t argue with that!

Plot, plot, blah, blah: Everyone is getting onboard, lovely. Talk all scientific like. Use the TARDIS.

Talk About the Drums: They’ve been there all his life. but no rest for the wicked. Oooh, very foreshadowy. Wonder what that means. *hehe*

Martha is Chan Thor: And visa versa. You see, Martha? Seventeen years… and he doesn’t notice her. You’ll never get him to notice you! Flirt with Jack instead… much more fun to watch. *grin*

ATILLO: Now, what does that mean? I know what YANA means, but does this have any special meaning?

Subplot: Dude with the Radiation: Oh, no no no… people are paying much too much attention to you, man. This is not good. Lots of radiation, and people anxious, and ominous music… you are so dead! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Ah, saboteur… guaranteed, I hope you are ready to meet your maker, ‘cause it’s time to get out of there… ah, evaporated!

Jack Is Dead… Again: Electrocuted this time. That’s gotta hurt. Time for Martha to perform some mouth-to-mouth. *hehe*

Doctor: Professor, you’ve got a room that no man can enter without dying, is that correct?
Professor Yana: Yes.
Doctor: Well… *Jack takes a gasp*… I think I’ve got just the man.
Jack: Was someone kissing me?

*giggles* That would be Martha.

Good Old Running: Oh my, those boys look good running all Doctor Who style!

Doctor: What are you taking your clothes off for?
Jack: I’m going in!
Doctor: Well, by the looks of it, the stet radiation doesn’t affect clothing, only flesh.
Jack: Well… I look good, though.

*hehe* Can’t argue that point either!

How long?:

Jack: How long have you known?
Doctor: Ever since I run away from you. Good luck.

He’s known all along! He abandoned Jack. He knew he was alive! I can’t… wow, he knew he was alive when they left the Gamestation.

Key Words: Travels in time… TARDIS… the professor knows these things. Hmm…

The Big Conversation:

Well… now we’ll hear Martha and the Professor listening in to the Rose conversation. Oh, another Rose conversation, SQUEE! *grin*

Doctor: When did you realize?
Jack: Earth. 1892. Got in a fight on Ellis Island. Man shot me through the heart. Then I woke up. Thought it was kinda strange. But then it never stopped. Fell off a cliff. Trampled by horses. World War I. World War II. Poison. Starvation. Stray javelin.
Doctor: Oooo.

Yeah, bet that one hurt. Boy… Jack’s got a death wish, eh?

Jack: In the end, I got the message. I’m the man who can never die. And all that time, you knew.
Doctor: That’s why I left you behind. It’s not easy, it’s… just looking at you, Jack, ‘cause, you’re wrong.
Jack: Thanks.
Doctor: You are, I can’t help it.

Well, that puts it plainly. *grin*

Doctor: I’m a Time Lord. It’s instinct.

Well, and you were a bit reoccupied at the time with a messed up regeneration.

Doctor: It’s in my guts. You’re a fixed point in time and space. You’re a fact. That’s never meant to happen. Even the TARDIS reacted against you, tried to shake you off. Flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you.
Jack: So what you’re saying is you’re, ah, prejudice.
Doctor: I never thought of it like that. Hmmm.
Jack: Shame on you. *with a smile*
Doctor: Yep. *with a smile*
Jack: Last thing I remembered, back when I was mortal, I was facing three Daleks. Expecting death by extermination.

Oh, side note… Professor reacts to ‘Dalek’ too…

Jack: And I came back to life. What happened?
Doctor: Rose.

*sighs* Oh, I still miss her.. just hearing her name again. I know, I know… I should probably be over this by now, but I’m not. And I knew it was Rose’s fault… but it’s nice that Jack gets to find this out too.

And boy is Martha looking ticked at this point. Stop being mad at Rose, Martha! Not like she can help it. She didn’t want to be stuck in a parallel universe without the Doctor! The Doctor would never have picked you up if she was still with him.

Jack: I thought you sent her back home.
Doctor: She came back. Opened the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex itself.
Jack: What does that mean exactly?
Doctor: No one’s ever meant to have that power.

Side note: this is now making the professor cry! However, why am I focusing on you, we’re talking about Rose right now!

Doctor: If a Time Lord did that, he’d become a god. A vengeful god. But she was human.

Flashback to Bad Wolf Rose. Oh, Rose! I bring life! Go back and get her, already! *sniff*

Doctor: Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life. But she couldn’t control it. She brought you back forever. That’s something I suppose. The final act of the Time War was life.

Side note: Time War gets to the professor too. Oh, I know it’s important, but back to Rose!

Jack: Think she can change me back?
Doctor: I took the power out of her. She’s gone, Jack. She not just living on a parallel world, she’s trapped there.

Finally! Do you understand, Martha?! He lost her. Neither one of them wanted to be parted. His hearts are broken. He can’t get her back.

Doctor: The walls have closed.
Jack: I’m sorry.
Doctor: Yep.

He still misses her. My shipper heart squees as it breaks in sadness.

Jack: I went back to her estate. In the 90s. Just once or twice. Watched her growing up. Never said hello. Timelines and all that.

Good boy, Jack. *grin* But… how sweet to go see her, even if he couldn’t speak to her.

Doctor: Do you want to die?
Jack: This one’s a little stuck.
Doctor: Jack.

It’s not exactly a question one wants to answer. He’s been pondering this for over a hundred years. He tried to kill himself time and time again… but he’s gotten used to being the man who can not die. So…

Jack: I thought I did. I don’t know. But this lot… out here still surviving, and that’s fantastic.
Doctor: You might be out there somewhere.
Jack: I could go meet myself.
Doctor: Well… the only man you’re ever going to be happy with.

*hehe* Can’t argue with that one either!

Jack: This new regeneration… kinda cheeky.

Kinda? *hehe* *squee*

Oh, and there goes the professor again with ‘regeneration’.

The Faux Watch: Yep, Professor Y-A-N-A has one too. You must know what this means, right?

Martha: Where did you get it?
Professor Yana: I was found with it.
Martha: What do you mean?
Professor Yana: An orphan in the storm. I was a naked child found on the coast of the Silver Devastation. Abandoned. With only this.

Okay, now I’ve got some questions. Can we assume at this point that he’s a Time Lord who has used the chameleon arch, right? Thus, he regenerated into a child? This does not bode well for the Doctor who is getting younger and younger in appearance as his regenerations go on. You know, by the time he hits his last one, he’ll be a teenager. *laugh*

But, Martha… oh, Martha, don’t tell him about the watch! Don’t bring attention to it! Too late. He’s interested. But, she stopped herself… good girl, you are learning. You didn’t tell him to open it.

Jack’s Dressed Again: He took time to put his shirt back on? That doesn’t seem like Jack…

Yelling Doctor: Oh no! Another Time Lord!?! But, this is brilliant, right? It is, of course it is. Depends which one. Brilliant, fantastic, yeah. But they died, the Time Lords. All of them, they died. Oh the pain in his voice as he says this. The hope and fear seeping through his very core. This is either the most brilliant or the most horrific thing to happen. What did he say, Martha? WHAT DID HE SAY? Now, it’s all fear. He knows the possibilities. It’s bad enough to lose your entire people… but to not be alone and only have your worst enemy… he’s scared. And with good reason…

The Face of Boe: He was giving a warning. Warning the Doctor about him. I wonder if the Face of Boe had anything to do about this. I… am… the Master. Chilling! No… don’t take the Hand! The hand is important. Then you’ll know when the Doctor finds you again.

Chan Thor’s Dying Act: She shot him. Killed him. And if he was human, that would be great. But all that means is…

Regeneration: if the Doctor can be young and strong… so can I! The Master will be reborn. And… oh, this is gonna be good. *giggles* The new Master… Oh, new voice. *deep* Hello. *high* Hello. *regular* Hello. Anyway, why don’t we stop and have a nice little chat while I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me. *giggles* Now, that’s what a bad guy should say! Okay, anyone else have chills as they cut back from the Master to the Doctor and back? *squee* I don’t think.

Martha… you can recognize that you know that voice as you fight for your life? Nice.

Doctor: I’m asking you really, properly, just stop. Just think.
Master: Use my name.
Doctor: Master… I’m sorry.
Master: Tough!
Doctor: *sonic screwdrivers to blow something in the TARDIS*
Master: Oh, no you don’t! End of the Universe… bu-bye! *with a little wave*

Um… I know this is wrong, but… *squee* I love the little hand wave thing. What an enemy for the Doctor!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Let’s recap what we already know about our massively head boggling timey-wimey issues going on this series. The Master is Harold Saxon, and is running for Prime Minister. And he’s totally after the Doctor. He knows about Martha, and is league with Martha’s mother to try to get the Doctor. (I told you that I didn’t like her mother!)

Which means that he expects the Doctor to get back. And I’m thinking next week will be one of those “I’m really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words” type of resolution. That’s my guess at least.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I’m squeeing a bit at the previews for next week? I shouldn’t be this happy over the bad guy, just he is just so… idyllically bad. *grin*

And to think… we’ll get stuck with another cliffhanger next week!